Ventriloquist of the Winds (slam poem)

I feel safer out at sea.

With no ordinary existence around me

But just the lives of a million and no human certainty

Does that sound rude? That I prefer to dance alone or roam with, nobody? I don't mean that it that way, its just

The depth of the ocean is only as deep as what ones perceives, and often, what reflects back to me; is my own depth. Forever growing and changing, something not to be kept.

When I am in the center of the sea, I take a breath of where I'm meant to be, on this boat with this love.

This knowing that remains to pulse above,

The surface of the silver waves,

Washing over my creation, engulfing this honest truth that:

"You belong here."

Maybe,

It is because I trip and stumble, whenever I step foot on earth.

It is not from shoe laces tied together, or a rock that I curse its just

I can never balance myself on a tightrope

that has already been placed on the ground.

For what its worth I am not proud to take another step on this dirt; I may rip this gown

I don't need these shoes. I don't need these clothes. I just need the wind, a place to sing to the ocean.

With no one else around.

You see,

With sailing, there is something about the not knowing that continues to catch my eye. The way that sailors can leap across their boats the cries, of the wind, each a different string for this puppet we float on.

That we call Home.

We are the ventriloquists of the wind. We can conduct the storms into being something graceful, with a foolish grin never knowing if "this is it".

Each day is an unknown stillness, that wakes me up with the sunrise, teaching me how to fly on a liquid matter composed of life.

Each night, falling asleep to the never quite knowing if I will wake up at the bottom of the sea. Or on top of

sunbeams. Or somewhere in between...

It doesn't Matter.

Maybe, I feel safer at sea because I know that my space will be shared with a different body, a casket that holds the birth and rebirth of so many lives. The depths of the blue holds onto all things and it creates it to be something,

of a Masterpiece.

Because, there is no lost cause. And no dead beats.

It is only the endless charms of the wind, and waves that continue to create islands, and destroy ships.

I like the idea of sharing that secret with a body of water that reflects so much of what I feel,

It helps me keep my sanity.

Its not that I don't like the company, of another human figure beside me,

I just feel more like my own kind when I live away from them.

- From the girl who was once the sea, Fall 2015